


Find Yourself

by LostMyShapeTryingToActCasual



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No idea what else to tag, Trans Character, Trans!Dom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 09:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8281714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostMyShapeTryingToActCasual/pseuds/LostMyShapeTryingToActCasual
Summary: Dominic likes Matt. Matt likes Dominique. Dominic isn't Dominique anymore.





	

His name was Dominic, but he preferred to be called Dom. Dominic was of average height and build, soft blond hair, warm gray eyes. The only problem was, Dominic wasn't actually Dominic yet. Dominic was actually Dominique. Dominique was conventionally attractive: nice body, great legs, killer tits. Which, Dominic liked, of course. Just, not on himself.

The other problem was that Dominic was in love with his best friend. His best friend who only saw him as a friend. A female friend.

His best friend, Matthew Bellamy.

Matthew, or Matt for short, liked blonde girls. Blonde girls with slim waists, wide hips, perky breasts, and long legs. Blonde girls like Dominique.

Matt had considered pursuing Dominique romantically at one point, but her boyish ways had deterred him, as well as her open interest in other females. He decided they were better off as friends; after all, they quarrelled like siblings most of the time.

Dom, while attracted to females, found himself equally, if not more so, attracted to Matthew. His best friend. Yes, Dom was in love with his best friend. How cliche was that.

So, Dom lived with two secrets: he was actually male, and he was completely in love with his best friend, who only saw him as female.

* * *

 

"Dominique-! Over here!" Matt half shouted as he waved at Dom, and Dom grimaced, forcing himself to smile as he made his was to the lunch table. Sliding in next to Matt, he glanced over and Chris, who was aggressively making out with his girlfriend, Kelly. Their trays of food lay untouched. Reaching over, he grabbed a container off juice of Kelly's tray.

"Matt- call me Dom."

"Ah, yeah- right, sorry. I forgot." Matt still hadn't gotten used to the new nickname, and Dom couldn't be too angry with him. After all, he'd been calling him Dominique for their entire friendship.

In his mind, he was still two separate people: Dominique and Dominic. Dom considered the new nickname 'Dom' as a sort of transition to breaking the news of Dominic to Matt.

Chewing on his lower lip, fingers running over the edge of the juice container, Dom watched Matt pick apart his sandwich from the corner of his eye.

"You know, you should really eat that..." Matt's nose wrinkled and he reconstructed his sandwich, leaving most of the toppings on the table.

"Shut up, mum. I'm eating." He took a bite of his sandwich, turning towards Dom, "Fhee?" He spoke, mouth full of bread, cheese, and meat. Dom couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his face. He shook his head, huffing out a short laugh.

"Yes, I see..." The use of the word 'mum' stung a little bit. Dom knew he presented female; even with his normally long blond hair cropped close, his cheeks were still round and his soft lips full and pouty.

Turning his attention back to his own lunch, he sighed and began to eat. A couple moments later, Chris and Kelly emerged from their snog fest for air.

"Hi, Dominique-" Kelly smiled at him, adjusting her shirt. Dom forced a smile. Kelly was nice enough, easy to talk to. She made Chris happy.

"Hey...." Dom glanced over at Chris who was now focused entirely on his lunch. Their gazes met for a moment and Dom swallowed hard. He and Chris had dated briefly. Very briefly. Like, a couple weeks. They kissed once and it was awful. Then Dom had gone and admitted to wanting to be male and that freaked Chris out. Now, they just pretended like nothing happened, and Dom went about keeping his secret hidden.

The rest of lunch went by as normal: Matt yammered on about something, Chris and Kelly continued to make out, eat, make out some more, and Dom was left to zoning out, only half listening to Matt.

* * *

 

"You can't just become a boy, Dominique- it's not- it's not natural-" The couple was seated on Chris's bed. Dom had his hands folded in his lap, tears threatening to roll down his cheeks.

"I-I don't want to be a girl, Chris- I-I searched around on the internet and-"

"The internet? Really? You can't trust what you read there-"

"T-there are other people like me, Chris- other-" He began, but was cut off by Chris's hand.

"I don't know what you think you are, but you're a girl and nothing can change... This..." Chris half-heartedly gestured toward Dom's chest. Dom's cheeks flushed, and a tear dripped down his cheek. "I think we should see other people..." Chris murmured. Dom bit into his lip, only nodding in agreement.

"Y-yeah..."

* * *

 

Dom shared a couple classes with Chris, a few with Kelly and his other mate, Tom, but only one with Matt: last hour. It was both a blessing and a curse.

Matt played piano accompaniment for the school concert band, and Dom played various percussion parts (always snare or timpani). Matt could get away with skipping class most of the time, and Dom sometimes followed suit. They'd hang out out back behind the dumpster and pass the time smoking cigarettes or listening to various bands. A couple times, Matt had kissed Dom. They were just light kisses on the cheek, but they were enough to make Dom flush and crave something more.

"Psst- Dom-" Glancing over, Dom saw Matt positioned to leave the band room, gesturing wildly towards him. Nodding his head toward the door, he slipped out. Dom cursed Matt in his head, looking up towards the director who was busy droning on about some inane things. Making the split second decision, Dom grabbed his backpack and bolted out the door.

Matt was in their usual place behind the dumpster, already smoking a cigarette. "Nice of you to join me." He smirked up at Dom. Rolling his eyes, Dom plopped down beside him. Plucking the cigarette from between Matt's skinny fingers, he took a long drag.

"Fuck, I needed that..." He muttered, passing the cigarette back. Matt smiled knowingly, taking the cigarette back.

"I could tell. You look stressed. Is something the matter?" He turned his upper body toward me, staring into Dom's eyes. Swallowing hard, Dom knew he needed to tell him. He was his best friend, after all. Dom's mouth opened, then shut, and then opened it again. Swallowing hard, his mouth was uncomfortably dry and his eyes stung. Matt's brows furrowed in confusion and he leaned forward.

"Is everything all right? Dominique-"

"I-I should go back inside- they'll probably get to my feature in the music-" Dom whispered, standing quickly and grabbing his bag.

Rushing off before Matt had a chance to reply, Dom found himself making a beeline for the restrooms and not the band room.

Glancing between the two different signs, Dom hesitantly pushed open the one labelled "Boys". After peeking in and seeing that the coast was clear, he stepped in and glanced around. This was his first time in a boy's loo and there was a buzz of unfamiliarity coursing through his veins.

It felt right to be among the urinals and graffiti about some broad's tits.

He was a boy, after all.

* * *

 

"Where'd you run off to? I couldn't find you and got worried-" Matt had eventually caught up with Dom by the end of the day.

"Um... Felt a little sick and went to the nurse-" Dom felt the lie roll off his tongue naturally. Matt's eyes narrowed, but it seemed like he bought the lie. Walking side by side, he held the door open for the two of them.

"So... The dance is coming up... Did you.... Have anyone you wanted to go with?" Dom felt his pulse quicken. The dance. The dance he'd promised he'd ask Matthew to. The dance he promised he'd rent a tux and reveal Dominic to the world.

"U-um yeah... I have someone in mind." He swallowed, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"You've been smoking more... Is everything alright?" He turned to meet Matt's concerned gaze and forced a smile.

"'Course, mate." Dom pursed his lips ever so slightly, passing the cigarette to Matt with a forced smile.

* * *

 

A couple hours away from his "home" at Matt's house was always bliss, but he always hated it when it ended. Stepping quietly into the house, he made his way to the kitchen to try and sneak some food up to his room. Just as he was pulling out the slices ham, a hand slammed the refrigerator shut, his nose inches from being taken clean off. Letting out a startled squeak, Dom turned his gaze upward to his father.

"D-dad-"

"The hell happened to your hair." He growled out, and Dom's eyes widened. He'd been avoiding his father for the past couple days since he got the new haircut. It wasn't hard, seeing as the man was either drunk or asleep.

"I-I wanted a change and-"

"Are you a fag." He slurred, and Dom's heartbeat in his ears.

"N-no, sir-"

"No daughter of mine is gonna be one of those queers-" He jabbed a finger at Dom's chest before shoving him aside to get access to the fridge.

Wounded, Dom slinked off to his room, the idea of dinner abandoned.

* * *

 

"Dom- you zoned out again!" Matt whined, and Dom blinked.

"S-sorry, sorry- I wasn't doing it on purpose-!" But Matt was already pouting and beginning to close up. "Repeat it, I'll listen this time, I swear."

Matt's lips pursed, but he went back into his spiel about aliens and drones and how the government was brainwashing the public with some new form of radio waves. Dom found himself forcing to hang on to his every word, his mind replaying the conversation he had with his father that night.

“Dom, you’re sure you’re alright?” Matt asked again after the conversation died, resting a hand on his knee. Dom felt his cheeks flush and he nodded.

“Yeah- I’m alright.”


End file.
